Wisdom Spots

Somedays I don’t have much to do except wonder about things, so I spent last week wondering about the leopard spots on my hands. It seems, besides the other wonderful things that women are privileged to deal with, like pregnancy and hot flashes and mood shifts, we also acquire these pretty little purple spots on our hands, almost a rash, but not quite. They are not a disease, my dermatologist tells me, rather age spots or liver spots. Liver spots? I have lots of uses for my liver and as far as I can tell, it has worked all these years simply fine, so why is my liver rebelling now? I didn’t know there was a direct route from my liver to my limbs, but I am constantly reminded that I don’t know much about much anymore. Because these spots seem to be multiplying exponentially, I decided to do a dot-to-dot sketch on my hands with a marker, and I thought it looked something like a Picasso, all over the place with pretty colors but my granddaughter said it looked more like the Covid virus. That was enough to scare the pee-wadding out of me. What was my liver up to? Omniscient Dr. Google told me the purple leopard spots are not connected to my liver, so now I wonder, why are they called liver spots? And another thing, I don’t see age spots or liver spots on men’s hands. Do men not get old? Or do they do something different with their liver? My husband, RIP, had not one little liver spot on his hands, they were clear and fresh as a baby’s bum. My next curiosity is what to do about them and again, Dr. G to the rescue. Easy peasy, he said: lemon juice, cucumber, buttermilk, honey, orange peel, and oatmeal. And don’t forget potatoes, but he didn’t specify raw, mashed, baked, or fried. This sounds like a bad menu in a greasy spoon restaurant. I already wash my hands fifty times a day, and Dr. G wants me to pour honey and oatmeal on them? How many washings would that add? I guess I’m done wondering about these little spots on my hands, but I made a decision. I no longer will call them age spots or liver spots. From now on, they are wisdom spots. If they are derived from my wisdom, I have no doubt that they’ll disappear. Wisdom of the day: Wear a mask so we can get back to the normal we used to have. If you enjoy Wrinkly Bits, please share!

Wisdom Spots