Wag, the Perfect Guest Host

A Blog by Gail Cushman I agreed to babysit a couple pooches next week. I wrote down the date, but, of course, my “senior moments” have rendered my brain useless. I do recall the directions: stay home for seven days to tend two dogs, plus my darling Wag. Yes, he is becoming my sweetheart, but I would never tell anyone but you. I am happy to host, but there are so many points to consider in this situation: Wag eats what I give him, good dog food that was okayed by the vet, tap water, and these teeth cleaning biscuits that are hard as nails, and twice as tasteless (I tried to take a bite, but they aren’t my cup of toothpaste). I can buy them on sale, so if he likes them, I like them. He chomps them down in a flash, and cleans up all the crumbs, asks politely for more, and when I say no, he wistfully heads to the couch for his fifth nap of the afternoon. And he never even glances at my wine stash. But my guest dogs (FiFi and FooFoo, names changed to protect the guilty) are not like Wag. They eat food from the gourmet dog food store, salmon with other stuff mixed in, you know the type: six bucks a can. The two pups share a can so it’s only three bucks each, but still, my dinner tonight was a chicken of the sea tuna sandwich, at under a dollar a can and it will last me for two days, making my dinner cost just two shiny quarters! (I’ve always wondered about chicken of the sea tuna. Is there a tuna of the sea chicken? Never mind, another brain malfunction). The two F-dogs eat dinky portions, twice a day, accompanied by special dog vitamin water, but I’ve seen them eyeing my wine rack as they hover around the kitchen. They gnaw on the tooth-cleaning biscuits, and can have two each, but one at a time, two hours apart. In addition, I have to feed one of these pups by hand (I polished my sterling tonight) and am gearing up for a week with these cuties. (They are cute, BTW!) Wag likes to be a gentleman and the perfect host, and the last time they visited, I caught him showing them how to lick up crumbs and other food leftovers that had fallen to the floor, as well as his favorite watering hole: eau d’toilette. Much to the chagrin of FiFi and FooFoo’s parents, Wag opened them up to a whole new world. If you enjoy Wrinkly Bits, please share.Wrinkly Bits.com

Wag, the Perfect Guest Host