Bikinis and Vampires

I am not a hoarder by nature, except for one thing: nutritional supplements and I had rows and rows, lined up neatly alphabetized. I decided to clean the cupboard that stores the supplements that I thought I needed at one time, but now I’m not so sure. My neighbor Linda says that every pill we ingest counts as a supplement, except for those prescribed by a doctor. I’m not so sure about that because my doctor also prescribes supplements, you know vitamins and calcium here and there. And, of course, Vitamin D3, which I wouldn’t need if I spent more time in the sun, but my dermatologist has warned me that my bikini days are long gone. I decided to be Marie Kondo and toss everything that doesn’t bring me joy. I ran into magnesium (two bottles, two strengths) but I don’t remember what they are for and the label doesn’t say. So to the trash they went. I tossed out the fish oil as well. The Vitamin A bottle informed me it is good for vision and reproduction (oh, happy day), but can remodel (a Dr. Google word) your hips, making them easier to fracture, so do I want to see better or break a hip? Choices, choices. Vitamin K comes from garlic and helps with blood clotting, but I’d have to eat 450 cloves of garlic to get 25 percent of the RDA. I like a little garlic salt on my steak or salad, but 450 cloves? Are you kidding me? It’s not like I am trying to scare off vampires! Red Yeast lowers cholesterol but gives gas and heartburn. Another toss. I am not a medical person and disavow any knowledge of supplements, other than my own common sense about what works for me. I probably derive some good out of some of these supplements, but don’t know what most of them do or don’t do, so I tossed them all and emptied my cupboard, and went out for a big mac, fries, and milkshake, all of which actually bring me joy. If you enjoy Wrinkly Bits, please share.

Bikinis and Vampires