Ranting at Robos

Robo calls. The worst invention ever. They come at the most inopportune times, they insult me, lie to me, and frighten me. Robos have been a problem since the invention of the cell phone, and have rudely invaded our lives like rats, especially for us gray-headed types.

I rented a robo slayer service for a while, which sometimes worked with real, live callers, but the robo industry (and it’s grown bigger than the federal government), ignored those calls made by robot machines so I canceled, not easily, but I slogged through the cancellation process and got ‘er done. I’m unsure why my phone service provider cannot or is unwilling to destroy robo numbers. As far as I know, social security comes through the Social Security Administration (SSA) and not a “social security company” that warns me that federal agents are on their way RIGHT NOW to take me to prison. But then, I’m just a blog writer.

Last week, by actual count, I received eighteen robo calls. For your entertainment, I have provided a partial list of the issues these robo folks, who don’t know how to pronounce my name, thankfully identified for me.

  • My car is on the verge of breakdown. (It’s fairly new and I hardly drive any more.)

  • My life insurance is about to be canceled, maybe my tornado insurance, too. (I live in Idaho, which is pretty much tornado free and I’m too old to be able to buy life insurance.)

  • The “social security company police” are on their way (calls on both Monday and Friday, I must be in big trouble). If I just give them my social security number, they’ll chase the police away. This is so comforting.

  • My college will not survive another day without my donation. (Too bad, so sad.)

  • My roof is about to collapse. (I checked, it’s two years old and still under warranty.)

I seldom answer unknown numbers, but they now leave messages and advise me that if I want to eliminate their calls, all I have to do is call them back. Fat chance. Have you ever asked yourself who works for these robo companies? I wonder what kinds of salary and benefits they offer that would attract workers.

I have a fancy-dancy phone, which has everything I need and nothing I don’t, except for one thing. I need a phone zapper, akin to the bug zapper, so I could zap the caller as a friendly reminder that I am not interested. If we can send a man to the moon, why can’t I have a zapper?

If you enjoy Wrinkly Bits, please share!