Covid Christmas

When Thanksgiving is over and the leftovers are eaten and things are sort of back to normal, my inclination is to begin thinking about Christmas, holiday stuff. I’m a poor decorator and can be happy with a string of red tinsel and a used, but not beat up, wreath, but my friend gets growly and tells me to “buck up butter cup” and do better. Right now, I’m thinking about Christmas and what would my kids and grandkids like, or more importantly need? You know, I’ve lived 74 years, and this is my very FIRST Covid Christmas, so I’m gonna make it memorable. Here’s my shopping list.

Paper products: I noticed that the store shelves are emptying again, and we should hoard them all before the real hoarders take off and no paper products remain on the shelves. You could turn a tweny-four pack of TP into an artsy Christmas tree or wreath, adding decorations. Double duty. If I insert a small bottle of vodka inside the roll, it will be a very welcome present. Useful, too. Or you could string the paper across your lovely green pine tree or handrails, add a little red tinsel, and wow!

Masks of all ilk: The paper ones are nice and can double as a tissue when one isn’t available. But some billboard-like masks are good, too. You know the type, the ones that have a business or non-profit plastered across the face. Billboards used to be available only on t-shirts, then moved to trucking companies, and now we’re back to more personalized billboards, masks. Note to self: check the party stores for fun masks, maybe something with a straw for holiday parties.

Face shields and protective goggles: Add a little jar of honey, and it is pretend time…pretending you are a beekeeper. Fun gift.

Rubber gloves: Who needs Santa stocking hanging from the mantel when expandable latex gloves are all the rage? Or you could blow them up and pretend they are balloons. My gloves are all gray or black, meaning I’ll have to look for more festive ones. Red or green if I can find them.

Hand sanitizers: They come in small, medium, and giant economy sizes and with a little imagination, they can be turned into stocking stuffers or ornaments for your tree. BTW, the whole hand sanitizer thing can dry you up like the Sahara Desert, so add a bottle of mineral oil, wrapped with a bow and voila! It’ll do the trick.

And who wouldn’t want an extra gallon or two of bleach? It’s not my first choice, but, by golly, it made my second-string list. Mailing bleach to Alaska is probably against the rules, but the Idaho kids can sure have it. I’ll put it in a big box, wrap it up like a lollypop, add a big red bow and it’ll be a welcome gift.

My holiday list is nearly complete. I just need to decide how much and what kind of alcohol we want to finish out the year.

If you enjoy Wrinkly Bits, please share. And, find a mask suitable for giving…and mask up!